11.10.18

# 78 || " BEING IS ALWAYS BECOMING "


Because apparently dreaming about writing is all I need to remind myself how much I love and miss letters turning into words turning into sentences turning into stories that don't make sense but are everything all at once. This year has been a ride, every day is one, but this year more than ever. Despite all of the change and the endless unfamiliar, I feel a new kind of stagnant. Maybe this is typical, when one makes the transition into superlate twenties but every so often I am reminded of the everpresent feeling of being a child trapped into a grown-up figure and fate. I don't think waiting to wake up and feel like the threads of my life have been pulled together overnight, and that there are no more secrets or sorrow left to slip past the stitches, is a bad thing necessarily. Perhaps all I can really do is remind myself that I wouldn't want to be any other version of myself, not even the intention that I visualise every night before I go to sleep. Not today, anyway. If I live my life, forever in a transition, forever with the resolution that I can and will be better every day, maybe that's a way of life.

How would you describe yourself in three words? How do you want others to describe you? How do you want to describe yourself? It's never quite fully registered to me that the answer is within me and my own potential. It's not a curse that I feel perpetually incomplete and somewhat inadequate but indeed regardless of mind over matter, I am complete. I am complete with the promise of amelioration. We all are, don't let yourself believe anything less than the everchanging prospects of each and every moment. 

Love, A x