This year has really taught me how to put myself in other people's shoes to generate a level of love and patience from places I didn't even know existed, in an abundance that I didn't know was possible. I've learned that a place exists between happy and sad. Over the last few months I've learned a lot about the limbo you can create when you're too afraid to let yourself feel disappointed. Because that's the compromise that comes with empathy;; it's the balance between hypocrisy and understanding.
When the pressure becomes overwhelming, I run to that place. I am my own best friend, I am the voice of reason, I am my own shoulder to cry on, But there's a catch ;; I find myself afraid of the goodness and the kindness of others, because I am terrified of situations where I can't control what happens. I know that this year has presented challenges that have nearly crossed the boundaries of what can be managed, and what can be survived. I know that places nobody should ever have to visit have been overwhelmed and crowded by undeserving individuals and if I could stand guard of the gate to those dark realms and forbid all from entering - I would.
If you can only believe that those who disappoint you did so in ignorance and oblivion, and that the souls you let into your life mean no malice, then that's one enormous step. The next baby step is to know that you're allowed to feel the way you feel about everything, that you can't control how you feel but you can control how you react. It's not your fault you want more, it's not your fault you had hopes higher than reality, and it's not your fault that you feel disillusioned when it feels like you're the only one missing out on the greenest-grass-fairytale-magic-miracle that everybody on the other side of the rainbow seems to have. The heartache will always be there, but if you place every foot in front of the other with your own purpose and intention, then that's all I can ask of you today.
Tomorrow ;; is a whole other story.
You really never know what tomorrow might bring, so don't write it off just yet and be prepared for everything.
[ ^^ Dear A, this is a little reminder for your every day. Love, A x ]
When the pressure becomes overwhelming, I run to that place. I am my own best friend, I am the voice of reason, I am my own shoulder to cry on, But there's a catch ;; I find myself afraid of the goodness and the kindness of others, because I am terrified of situations where I can't control what happens. I know that this year has presented challenges that have nearly crossed the boundaries of what can be managed, and what can be survived. I know that places nobody should ever have to visit have been overwhelmed and crowded by undeserving individuals and if I could stand guard of the gate to those dark realms and forbid all from entering - I would.
If you can only believe that those who disappoint you did so in ignorance and oblivion, and that the souls you let into your life mean no malice, then that's one enormous step. The next baby step is to know that you're allowed to feel the way you feel about everything, that you can't control how you feel but you can control how you react. It's not your fault you want more, it's not your fault you had hopes higher than reality, and it's not your fault that you feel disillusioned when it feels like you're the only one missing out on the greenest-grass-fairytale-magic-miracle that everybody on the other side of the rainbow seems to have. The heartache will always be there, but if you place every foot in front of the other with your own purpose and intention, then that's all I can ask of you today.
Tomorrow ;; is a whole other story.
You really never know what tomorrow might bring, so don't write it off just yet and be prepared for everything.
[ ^^ Dear A, this is a little reminder for your every day. Love, A x ]
"Where do you go when you go quiet?"
