# 34 || make our escape, you're my own papillon

"My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all.
Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover."

Charles Bukowski

From the deepest, most honest place in my heart, I believe that opportunities do not and will not arise unless you are moving. Wisdom says that things are continually changing, and remember that you can't pause time, you can only pause yourself. Sometimes, no, often I fret that I will live my entire life tightrope-walking across an everlasting thread of foolish hope. But then if I never fall, what does it matter if I never finish? Compare this contemplation to life, and see that there are three options: i) you could look down and live in fear; ii) you could look ahead and see Eden at the finish line; or iii) you could look up and see how much closer you are to the stars.

Walking tightropes is dangerous, and it takes courage. Life too, is dangerous. Life too, takes courage. It's perfectly alright to live in a perpetual state of nostalgia, of curiosity, of ambition, of wonder, of gratitude --- and if anything, I think it is a fine way to live. Take a moment and remind yourself of what an admirable person you are. Celebrate your education, your kindness, your bravery, your family, your friends, your talents, your efforts, your travels, your uniqueness and applaud yourself at how fucking far you've come.

I'm forever fascinated by the simultaneous unity and distance I feel with other people. Emotion, physicality and basic needs tie me to every other living creature on this earth, but often I feel I fail to comprehend the underlying trigger that lingers at the bottom of everything. Every day I unlace my shoes and step inside yours, in an unbounded attempt to understand. For I thought and believe, that we are not one single person, either over time or at a particular moment. We are what is left after the impressions of any given moment shape our mood and character. The way to change our lies is not to change our external circumstances, but to change how we react to them. Change your life by changing how you respond to what is around you. 

Sometimes people forget their alternatives, and don't remember how exciting it is to actively acknowledge that you are en route to becoming everything you've ever wanted, that you are consciously making your dreams come true, that you are throwing fantasy and reality into a blender and whisking them together until you can't discern one from the other. How magical.

Don't forget that being simple does not mean that it is easy. I wish, always, that there were some way I could hover around the pinnacle of the earth and tell you how proud I am that "me, you and everyone we know", are all in this together.

postscript: Tell me,