# 14 || : wander :: lustish :


"I can tell already you think I'm the dragon,
              that would be so like me, but I'm not. I'm not the dragon.
I'm not the princess either.
              Who am I? I'm just a writer. I write things down.
I walk through your dreams and invent the future. Sure,
     I sink the boat of love, but that comes later. And yes, I swallow the
glass, but that comes later." -- Richard Siken

How peculiar that you only learn what you really loved about somebody in their absence, from a distance. As is my style, this is not quite the cliché lack of presence making my heart grow fonder - but it is for once knowing the cure to a condition and fixing it ! Everything is going according to plan, the magic is melting into the air and I don't know who you are anymore. Instead of my thoughts being fuelled by dreams de toi, I get by through aesthetic pleasures and plights. It's probably a better way to be. Hani-chérie said it was probably nothing then, but I've thought about it a lot - that is, what instrument could possibly test and measure one's love and lust. 

I've always thought perhaps I don't try nearly hard enough. Through letting go, are you giving up? Because effort expended to push forward what could quite possibly prove to be nothing would be fruitless and silly - but sometimes it doesn't seem that way when it is taking everything you have to move absolutely nowhere. So what are the true determinants of weakness and strength?

And just like that, there are no more sleeps until take-off and when tomorrow finally comes, I will lay my head down and dream Somewhere new. That's the way I have always loved it, and that's the way I want it to be forever. Merci beaucoup, Malaysia et Singapore, for such a marvelous time. Sampai jumpa lagi.