“I’m erased. I’m gone. I’m nothing. And then the world is free to flow into me like water into an empty bowl… And… I see. I hear.
But not with eyes and ears. I’m not outside my world anymore, and I’m not really inside it either.
The thing is, there’s no difference between me and the universe. The boundary is gone. I am it and it is me.
I am a stone, a cactus thorn.
I am rain.
I like that most of all, being rain.”
-- Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli
( this spontaneous jumble of words is for my dear friend melia, one of my muses )
Winter makes me that much more nostalgic - every year when it becomes sweater weather every other day. I can’t stop thinking about all of those once-upon-a-times, when I figured out everything I wanted to be. And then there’s now, when I can see that I’m more than // almost // or just about halfway there. I don’t remember when exactly I decided I wanted to be remembered for how I was, not who or where or what I was, but lately I have been feeling some kind of yearning to reach this equilibrium where even emotional, physical and spiritual hurdles become a neutral.
Be content but infinitely curious. There’s never any shame in caring or loving or wishing or dreaming for or about anything more than what everybody else thinks it’s worth. Passion is alluring, and a reason to be thankful is knowing that every single moment in your life has made you everything you are, at this moment. I don’t know how or why, but it all seems pretty magical. !!! “Forever is composed of nows”, so keep only the unspeakable secrets but share your golden thoughts with the ones you love.
( images by sarah hermans, october 2009 )