Oh no, did I not write last year? It seems I began writing this entry on the 20th of August 2024 at 07:52 but where was I then? Maybe exactly where I am now but everything is completely different. I feel compelled to get a few last words in before the end of 2025, because my heart feels so full and fluttery at the same time but for reasons unlike ever before. Once upon a time I used to wish on any star for everything I have now. So what else is left to wish for other than things that are just so worldly and temporary? Am I allowed to ask for more of what I already have?
Since I last wrote here, the world has changed and sometimes I long for a taste of my old self, a waist disappearing inside a denim waistband, space in my queen bed at night, girl dinners on the sofa and sunrise yoga not having to tiptoe out the door. But if I can remind myself that life is not the chapter I am living in this moment but it's not never going to come again. When she's old enough to understand I want to tell my daughter that when you wish for something you need to include the details, be specific and tell God about every hair on their head and every ray of sunshine and twinkle in the ocean because you may end up with everything you ever wanted but it might not be exactly how you imagined it. What did I used to say? Nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it.
I find myself seeking nostalgia wherever I can, whether it's a playlist from 2018 or writing in a blog I haven't touched in over 2 years. Sometimes it's just remembering people when I have a moment to myself, remembering all the experiences I ever had and remembering that there are so many more to come.
2026 Wishlist
- Find my pink again
- Fall pregnant (again)
- Create beautiful memories with my sweet little family
- Learn how to balance my hormones and feel my best
- Be brave (for her).
